In the age of Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and everything in between, it’s easy to look around and feel that others have more, do more, look better, and make all the right choices. But the comparison game is a dangerous one. It can leave you feeling left out, “less than”, and ashamed of who you are.
If you’ve felt this weight before, we’re here to remind you that you are beautiful, worthy, and valued just as you are.
8 Things That Don’t Determine Your Worth
1. Cultural Milestones
Let go of your timeline. It can be hard if the majority of your friends (or people you follow) are well-traveled, have progressed in their careers, have already gotten married, had kids, or bought their first home. Comparison can cause us to feel stuck or ashamed. It doesn’t matter if your parents, family member, or friend did something by a specific age. What matters is how you chose to live your life.
Remember, your journey is unique to you and your worth isn’t measured by how much you have accomplished by a certain age.
2. Bank Account or Employment
We hope this one is an obvious one. How much money you have, how much you make, or your job title does not determine your worth, your abilities, or how talented you are. Money does not even determine true success.
Although paying your bills, building a savings account, and giving generously are all great goals, if you’re in a season of making or having less, it does not make you less.
3. Body Type, Looks, or Size
This might be an obvious one to some, but it is worth repeating. Your size, “imperfections”, looks, and the number on the scale, do NOT determine your value and worth. And while physical health should be a goal for everyone - simply because it makes you feel stronger, happier, and helps you live longer - it’s not something that defines you. Your mirrored image isn’t you. You are your integrity, wit, and character; and that’s beautiful.
4. An STD
This one is tough. We know that an STD can make you feel shame but if that’s you, we hope you choose to break ties with shame. While guilt says, “I did something wrong,” shame says, “I am something wrong.” This just isn’t true.
If you’ve had an STI or STD before or you think you do now, we’re here to tell you that your past doesn’t define you or determine your future. If you’re currently experiencing symptoms, make an appointment for free testing today. You’ll be met with the care and compassion you deserve.
When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending. Trauma and past pain can easily try and wreck our sense of value and worth. Many survivors of abuse feel that they deserved it or are somehow less than because of it. Reject this lie over your life. You are not your past, you are not deserving of pain or abuse, but you can be stronger because of it.
If one of those things in your past is an abortion (or several) and you feel that it has caused you pain, regret, or has made you feel unworthy in any way, we would love to help you rewrite your story. We help women find healing and live free. If this is you, send us a message today. All messages, calls, and meetings are completely confidential.
6. Social Media Following
The number of engagements or followers on your social media channels has absolutely nothing to do with your likeability or worth. It’s easy to get sucked into the social media vortex of vanity or popularity but those things will only leave you feeling hollow and wanting more.
You are far more valuable than any online measurement of success. We hope you never forget it!
7. Relationship Status
Whether you are newly single, have been single a long time, divorced, or just feel like you should be married or engaged by now, your worth is not tied to who you are with or a past failed relationship. Don’t fall into the trap of jumping into a relationship just to have someone. That often leads to unhealthy decisions, co-dependency and relationship regret. Remember, you are worthy of someone who knows and values the real you. You are worthy of selfless love. Don’t ever settle for less.
8. An Unexpected Pregnancy
An unexpected pregnancy can make you feel like you failed. Shame tries to hold you in its grasp and make you feel like you’ve messed up beyond repair. But we know this isn’t true. Life can be both messy and beautiful. You are resilient and your story is far from finished.
And if you need compassionate care, resources, answers, and empowering pregnancy options, make an appointment today.
We’ll be there to remind you that an unexpected pregnancy does not change who you are and what you can do. Give us a call and kick shame out the door.
Regardless of your circumstances, you are meant to live a full life with rich experiences. Don’t let someone else’s words, cultural standards, or your past determine how you see yourself. You are valued, beautiful, and loved just as you are.